Thursday, February 2, 2012

My Grandfather's Clock

This is my Grandfather Clock. It lovingly stands in my living room where I enjoy hearing it's ticks and tocks every second and it's ding dongs every half hour and hour. This clock holds a special place in my heart as it really was my Grandfather's clock.

For some reason I have always been drawn to this clock. I can remember being 14 years old sitting in my Grandparents basement and subconsciously counting the number of ding dongs every time they went off every hour. I've always adored it's dark color and I especially enjoy how it's ding dongs aren't annoying at all. They are actually more of a deep tone and quite handsome (if I say so myself  hahaha!). My Grandad purchased it from an old farm wife when he was stationed in Germany many, many years ago, and it traveled back with him to the States and eventually found it's rest in my Grandparents home where it took it's prominent place in their living room for as long as I can remember.

When my Grandma asked me several months ago if there was anything in particular I would love to have of theirs to remember them by my mind instantly moved to the clock. I'm fairly certain my heart squealed outloud with delight when she told me I could have it. Of all the things I could have chosen, this clock was the perfect choice for me.

My Grandad passed away last month...I remember as a teenager there were times I felt like he was always lecturing me. He was always so concerned that I reach my highest potential. One day when I was a Senior in high school he told me that with my grades I needed to be a Doctor or Lawyer. I struggled hearing that from him for several months and then one day I opened my heart to him and said, "Grandad, I know you want me to be a Doctor or Lawyer, and even though I know I could be if I wanted to, that just isn't what I want to do." I thought he was going to be mad at me, but instead he gave me a big hug and said, "You will be wonderful at whatever you choose to do in life Rachel. I just want you to know that you are capable of doing anything you want." In his mind, it wasn't so much being the Doctor of Lawyer that mattered, it was knowing and believing in my potential. It was understanding my worth and reaching for whatever goal it was I wanted for myself.

I never did become a Doctor or a Lawyer (although I do have to say, I practically felt like an attorney with how many divorces I completed being a Paralegal  for 7 years LOL). What I did become was a Mother and a Wife. And every time I visited with Grandad he told me what a good job I was doing. He believed in me! And I know he is up in Heaven somewhere still believing in me.

Now every time I hear those tick tocks and ding dongs, I have this special reminder of my Grandfather, and a reminder to myself to believe in me. To believe that I really can accomplish everything I set out to do in life. To believe that I really am doing a good job at being a Mother, even though my family room might look like a hail storm of toys, and I didn't even take a shower today.

Thank you Grandad for believing in me. And thank you for leaving me with the legacy of your clock...I promise it will lovingly stand here, a part of this family forever.

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